Walk The Talk with Mayaa SH on her book “Stamped: For Domestic Violence Survivors..”

Mayaa SH, Stamped: For Domestic Violence Survivors book, prominent women's rights activist, author, feminist philosopher,

Mayaa SH, a prominent women’s rights activist, author, and feminist philosopher, has extensively addressed domestic violence in her work, emphasizing its profound impact and the societal changes required to combat it. Her insights are deeply rooted in her experiences as a survivor and advocate, focusing on empowering women and challenging societal attitudes that blame victims. Beyond her writings, Mayaa SH urges public discourse on gender-based violence, encouraging the use of social media hashtags like #OrangeTheWorld and #GenerationEquality to raise awareness. She also calls for challenging inappropriate behavior, understanding relevant data, and advocating for government investment in data collection on gender-based violence. Employers, she suggests, have a role in creating supportive workplace cultures that encourage survivors to seek mental health support. The Firebrand Feminist and Internationally acclaimed authoress gets candid on Domestic Violence and her book “Stamped: For Domestic Violence Survivors….”

Mayaa SH’s book, Stamped: For Domestic Violence Survivors, primarily focuses on empowering individuals trapped in cycles of trauma, exploitation, and abuse, particularly those lacking economic independence or social acceptance to break free. The book aims to instill hope and self-confidence in survivors, drawing from Mayaa SH’s experiences as a women’s rights activist and her understanding of the complex dynamics of domestic abuse. The book is a collection of short motivational quotes and examples based on real-life testimonies, designed to guide those who have lost self-confidence and self-esteem due to abuse. Mayaa SH emphasizes the power of self-belief and the desire to succeed as crucial motivators for survivors to “rise and shine like a star again.” Her work, including Stamped, advocates for a multifaceted approach to addressing domestic violence, prioritizing empathy, education, and empowerment while actively challenging the societal stigma often associated with survivors. A central theme in Mayaa SH’s work, and likely reflected in Stamped: For Domestic Violence Survivors, is the cycle of abuse, which typically involves stages of tension building, an incident of abuse, reconciliation, and a calm period. She highlights how this cycle can be difficult for victims to recognize and escape, and how it can perpetuate across generations, with children from abusive homes being at a significantly higher risk of repeating the cycle themselves. The book implicitly encourages readers to understand these patterns to facilitate their journey toward healing and recovery.

What motivated you to write this book?

“Stamped: For Domestic Violence Survivors” aims to provide hope and guidance for individuals trapped in cycles of trauma, exploitation, and abuse, particularly those lacking economic independence or social acceptance. The book delves into the profound psychological effects of abuse, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing them to help survivors regain control of their lives. A central theme is the intergenerational transmission of abuse, highlighting how children raised in abusive environments are at a significantly higher risk of perpetuating the cycle, either as victims or perpetrators, in their adult relationships. This is because witnessing violence normalizes such behaviors, increasing the likelihood of their replication. Research indicates that children from abusive homes are three to four times more likely to become victims or perpetrators themselves. Another key theme of domestic violence is the cycle of abuse, which Stamped: For Domestic Violence Survivors implicitly addresses by providing a framework for understanding the patterns of abusive relationships. This cycle typically involves four phases: tension building, the incident of abuse, reconciliation (often called the “honeymoon phase”), and a period of calm. Over time, these periods of reconciliation and calm can shorten or disappear, leading to more frequent and severe incidents. This book aims to help survivors break free from this cycle by fostering self-confidence and providing motivational support while reading motivational quotes meant to instill confidence in people. The long-term effects of domestic violence on individuals, including mental health issues like depression and anxiety, physical health problems, behavioral issues, difficulty forming healthy relationships, and a higher propensity for risky behaviors is huge. The book seeks to counteract the loss of self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness often experienced by survivors. A significant aspect of the book’s thematic exploration is the power of self-belief and self-confidence.

Why according to you generating awareness on domestic violence is a must?

Generating awareness about domestic violence is crucial for several compelling reasons, encompassing understanding, support, prevention, and societal change. Domestic violence is a pervasive issue affecting individuals, families, and communities globally, regardless of age, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or nationality. Raising awareness serves as a catalyst for breaking the silence and stigma surrounding this complex issue. It educates the public about the prevalence and impact of domestic violence, debunks misconceptions, and encourages open conversations. By shedding light on the realities of domestic violence, individuals are better equipped to recognize warning signs, offer support, and seek help when needed. This increased understanding is vital because domestic violence often extends beyond physical harm to include emotional, psychological, and financial abuse, all of which can have long-term detrimental effects on victims and their children. A key aspect of awareness initiatives is empowering survivors to speak out and seek assistance. Awareness campaigns encourage survivors to step forward, knowing they are not alone and that supportive resources are available. Awareness is also instrumental in prevention efforts. Education plays a pivotal role in equipping individuals with the knowledge and skills to identify, address, and prevent domestic violence. This includes understanding what constitutes a healthy relationship versus an unhealthy or abusive one. Advocacy efforts, sparked by heightened awareness, drive policy changes, resource allocation, and the implementation of legal measures aimed at protecting individuals. The passage of landmark legislation like the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) in 1994, which transformed the national response to gender-based violence, is a direct result of sustained advocacy and awareness. Ultimately, the importance of raising awareness about domestic violence lies in its ability to prompt action and engender positive change. It inspires individuals, organizations, and policymakers to take a stand against domestic violence, advocate for resources, and contribute to the creation of safer, more supportive communities. Everyone has a role to play, whether through participating in awareness campaigns, supporting local shelters and advocacy organizations, or advocating for legislative changes.

Why according to you Survivors of domestic violence must be looked at with empathy and not sympathy?

Survivors of domestic violence (DV) must be approached with empathy rather than sympathy because empathy fosters understanding, builds trust, and empowers survivors, which are crucial elements for their healing and ability to escape abusive situations. Sympathy, while well-intentioned, can create a distance between the helper and the survivor, potentially leading to judgment or a feeling of disconnected helplessness, which is counterproductive to the survivor’s needs. Empathy involves actively stepping into the survivor’s shoes, understanding their psychological state, and acknowledging their pain without judgment. This deep level of understanding is vital because survivors often face complex reasons for staying in abusive relationships, including low self-worth, fear of not being believed, isolation, and language barriers. When practitioners and advocates demonstrate empathy, they validate the survivor’s experiences, helping them to overcome self-blame and begin the healing process. This approach contrasts with sympathy, which is merely feeling sorry for someone without truly comprehending their experience. Research highlights the importance of empathy in various contexts related to domestic violence. For instance, in the context of traumatic bonding, empathy for an abuser can paradoxically intensify the bond, making it harder for victims to leave. This occurs when victims use their cognitive empathy to rationalize the abuser’s behavior, viewing them as a victim themselves or someone who needs help. Therefore, understanding the nuanced role of empathy is critical for those working with survivors. For professionals assisting victims of violence, empathy is a key component of vicarious post-traumatic growth (VPTG), where helpers experience positive changes as a result of their work. Empathic concern and perspective-taking are positively correlated with VPTG, indicating that engaging empathetically with survivors can lead to personal and professional growth for the helper, while also improving their ability to provide effective support.

How does feminism focus to eliminate Domestic Abuse?

Feminism addresses domestic abuse by identifying its root causes in patriarchal systems and gender inequality, advocating for systemic change, and providing crucial support for survivors. The movement views domestic abuse not as isolated incidents but as a pervasive societal issue stemming from power imbalances between genders. Feminist approaches to eliminating domestic abuse are multifaceted, encompassing prevention, intervention, and policy advocacy. Feminist theory posits that domestic violence, also referred to as intimate partner violence or gender-based violence, is a global issue rooted in the historically unequal power relationships between men and women. This inequality is perpetuated by societal norms that cast men as physically dominant and short-tempered, devalue women and non-male identifying individuals, and glorify violence. The United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women explicitly states that the increasing incidence of violence against women is an expression of traditionally accepted inequality and uneven distribution of power relations between genders. This perspective highlights that violence is a learned, gendered, and institutionally supported behavior, targeting the sources of violence rather than accepting the status quo. Women’s rights organizations play a vital role in offering life-saving services such as shelters, counseling, legal assistance, and hotlines to survivors of gender-based violence. These services empower women and girls to assert their rights and seek help, building resilience and self-confidence. Modern, inclusive feminism emphasizes intersectionality, recognizing that various social categorizations like race, class, gender, and sexual orientation create overlapping systems of discrimination. This means that efforts to combat domestic abuse must specifically highlight the experiences of marginalized communities, such as Black women, trans women, and women with disabilities, who often face compounded forms of violence and oppression.

If you had to write one quotation on Domestic Violence what would it be?

“Life is short, we all deserve dignity. Dignity is a fundamental right for all individuals, especially those who have endured the trauma of abuse. The complexities of domestic violence, noting that victims often remain trapped due to fear, threats from abusers, and a lack of economic independence or social acceptance is a grave issue. It is crucial to understand the intricate reasons that make leaving an abusive situation difficult, rather than questioning why a person doesn’t leave? The intergenerational transmission of abuse, where children exposed to domestic violence are at a significantly higher risk of perpetuating the cycle in their adult lives, either as victims or perpetrators. The advocacy for education and awareness to break this cycle, fostering a culture of dignity and respect for women is the need of the hour…”

About Mayaa SH

Mayaa SH, an Indian author, poet, and activist, has carved a significant path in contemporary literature and women’s empowerment. Born in Kolkata and educated across various Indian cities including Lucknow, Hyderabad and Pune, her journey reflects a deep commitment to social causes and a relentless pursuit of gender equality. She is widely recognized for her powerful writings, advocacy, and numerous accolades, establishing herself as a prominent voice for women’s rights and social justice in India and globally. Mayaa SH’s journey is characterized by her evolution from a corporate professional to a celebrated developmental feminist. Early in her corporate career, she recognized the nuances of women’s rights, which propelled her into the field of women’s empowerment. She credits her success not to any single organization or person, but to all those who believed in her dream to transcend societal limitations. Her formative years were significantly influenced by her teachers, who fostered her creative and intellectual abilities, and by a supportive network of friends. She began writing at the age of ten, transforming this passion into a mission to amplify the voices of millions of women through contemporary literature that reflects social and political viewpoints. This dedication led her to work extensively on women’s rights and empowerment, integrating realism, current events, and socioeconomic messages into her work. Her literary works are deeply rooted in themes of gender equality, social justice, and women’s empowerment. She often explores the struggles and triumphs of women in patriarchal societies, shedding light on issues such as identity, economic independence, and social freedom. Her writings challenge societal norms and advocate for inclusivity, resilience, and self-belief. Mayaa SH, a prominent women’s rights activist and author, believes that self-belief is crucial for women to retain their identity and assert themselves in society. Stamped: For Domestic Violence Survivors is designed to rekindle hope and self-belief in those who have lost it, emphasizing that the spark of self-confidence never truly extinguishes. It encourages readers to recognize their inner strength and the power of self-confidence, even amidst difficulties, suggesting that challenges can become sources of strength. Mayaa SH’s broader advocacy in life, which informs the book’s message, also includes raising awareness about gender-based violence, challenging societal attitudes that blame victims, and advocating for legal reforms to protect women’s rights. She believes in the transformative power of education and awareness to dismantle rape culture, challenge inappropriate behavior, and foster a society where women are treated with dignity and respect. The book also implicitly encourages the creation of supportive communities and the importance of mental health support for survivors, emphasizing the need to destigmatize mental illness and domestic violence itself through open conversations and person-first language. Mayaa SH’s writing style is characterized by its realism and directness, often incorporating contemporary issues and providing solutions to societal problems. She believes in keeping her writings simple yet powerful, ensuring effective communication where readers can comprehend the context. Her work is designed to raise awareness about important social, political, and cultural issues, providing a platform for marginalized voices and challenging societal norms. Some of her notable works include: “The Candle In The Wind”: Her debut poem that earned her a National Level Award, highlighting the essence of unconditional love. “I Only Speak Titanium”: A powerful exploration of resilience and strength, reflecting the struggles and triumphs of women. This work emphasizes that challenges make individuals stronger and more evolved. “Laal Rang Aashiqana”: A poetic journey delving into the complexities of love, identity, and societal expectations. “Kotha”: A profound reflection on the struggles and resilience of women in contemporary society, addressing themes of empowerment and objectification. “Swayam”: A self-help book that garnered significant attention for highlighting the power of an exponential growth mindset and advocating for the intellectual power of women. “Khushnoor: Travelling Beyond Boundaries”: Her latest book, a collection of motivational quotes, articles, and poems aimed at inspiring readers to believe in their dreams and overcome self-doubt, particularly for women. She views gender inequality as a social construct and actively campaigns against it, addressing issues like gender bias in education, the gender pay gap, limited access to healthcare, and child marriage. She asserts that feminism is not a war against men but against the ideology of patriarchy. Mayaa SH is a vocal opponent of violence against women, including domestic violence, sexual violence, psychological abuse, and financial abuse. She provides counseling and support to survivors, emphasizing that abusive acts are about power and control. She is a recognized expert in suicide prevention and mental health awareness, actively working to destigmatize mental health challenges. She uses conversation as a tool to help women manage stress and fear, offering support and guidance. Mayaa SH has received numerous national and international awards for her contributions to literature and social activism. She advocates for comprehensive legal reforms that prioritize women’s rights, including reforms in matrimonial law and the criminalization of marital rape. Mayaa SH’s unwavering commitment to these causes has earned her the moniker “Lady with Nerves of Steel”. She is also known by various other titles such as Mayaa Devi, Mayaa Tai (elder sister), Mayaa Di, Mayaa Audio SH, Pushpa ‘The Fire’, Padma Of The East, Lady Robin Hood, MS Dhoni Of Writing, Female Chulbul Pandey, Lady Karl Marx, and Lady Gandhi, reflecting the widespread respect and admiration she commands.